Rules of Everyday Living in Bolivia

Concerning Taxis:

1. When you need to move, call a taxi and then proceed to put all your worldly possessions, in, on top of, and around the sides of the taxi.
2. When you are a party of 5 or more, hail a taxi and then pile in! The more the merrier!

Concerning Trash:

1. Put all your trash in the field by your house. Two weeks or so later, as you take the trash out, bring a lighter and light the pile on fire. Casually walk away leaving a roaring flame.
2. Whenever you purchase anything, it will undoubtedly come wrapped in plastic, take the purchased item out of the plastic and throw the plastic on the ground, or out the bus window.

Concerning Busses:

1. When you call for a bus, the bus will come to a screeching halt about 10 yards from where you are standing. Thus causing you to run so that you aren't left behind.
2. When you board the bus, you will immediately lose your balance and that's when the bus will jerk into motion, causing you to topple onto the nearest person, chair, or pole.
3. When there is an open window seat, you will be forced to clamber over the person sitting in the aisle in order to have a seat.
4. When all bus seats are full and there is little room for standing, should any young child board the bus you will be obliged to share your lap.
5. When you wish to exit the bus, scream PARE and the bus will either immediately stop, causing you to exit the bus at the velocity of a cannon; or the bus will stop approximately a block from where you wish to exit the bus.

Concerning Nighttime Entertainment:
1. You will start playing your music at 7 pm and the music will continue until 5 am at a full tilt, window shattering loudness; or you will begin playing your music at 5 am and continue until 10 am when you finally go to bed.
2. When you go out, you will leave your house at approximately 11pm and you will not return until 5am.
3. When you go out, you will head to the center of the city where you will locate a park bench, park yourself there and talk with your friends until small hours of the morning.
4. Restaurants, Bars, and Clubs, will let you have an alcoholic drink no matter your age, and you will be allowed to smoke, but only inside.

Concering Driving:
1. When approaching an intersection: Honk
2. When approaching a corner: Honk
3. When approaching another car: Honk
4. When passing: Honk
5. When approaching a pedestrian: Honk
6. When approaching thin air: Honk
7. Just to make sure: Honk
8.When passing make sure to pass on the right, in the dirt shoulder at mach 10
9. If you are a bus, make sure to drive as erraticaly as possible.
10. When you enter a car, be sure to leave your seatbelt off as that is safest
11. When your car begins to smoke, pull over, and begin to pour water ontop of the engine, into the engine, and MAKE SURE that you can create a geiser of water. This will solve your problem.
12. When stopping, or driving in general, make sure to drive as close to the other car as possible.
13. When your car crashes into someone elses, make sure to scream obscenities at them before you jerk your car in the opposite direction and race them to see who can drive faster.
14. If you feel inclined to lie down in the middle of the road, don't worry! Someone will inevitably honk before they run you over.